I'm Plain Naive

I used to trust people and expect to be trusted. Truth is I trust everyone and they don't trust me or I trust them and they take advantage of me. Recently I got hit by reality. I used to trust this person I considered one time on of my closest friends. Friends warned me she wasn't what she seemed on the outside but I protected her like a loyal friend would do. Turns out she's the monster everybody talks about and I realize after I got hit. I have learn the hard way to trust. It still hurts that as time goes by less friends you have, it breaks my heart that I gave her a lot of my love and care and received gossip and judgement from her. I lost a friend today, but I gained wisdom and certainty in who my real friends are. I wish I could say I no longer trust as hard as I did, but that's simply one of my flaws. However, I do consider that flaw as a strength because I rather be hurt than to hurt someone. I'm plain naive. 

Poem - "I Felt Alone, Then I Stood"

This is a poem I posted in my other blog Underground Poetry and is about how I felt when I was younger. I felt that I didn't fit anywhere because of who I was, and to be able to have a social life I needed to change. Now, I see that being who I am is the only way to make long lasting friendships and relationships. It brings me to tears the way children and teenagers have to learn that lesson by being bullied, or pressured into being someone they are not. I reread this poem every once in a while because it gives me confidence in knowing that what I'm doing is the right thing, and what I'm doing is simply being myself. Always stay true to yourself.

I felt alone in a dark room

where all eyes were on me

I tried to stand up, but slipped

and then everybody laughed

I feel embarrassment of living in my own skin

I feel alone because  nobody would love me

The problem is: I love who I am

And even if I get days like this, someday...

I will stand

I will stand tall with nothing to fear

I will surpass whatever you think of me

I may fall again and get punched in the face

But I will never give up on being who I am

You've bullied me enough, to the core you don't know

You got in my head and pretended nothing's wrong

You showed your pretty face while smiling away

Telling secrets of mine, leaving a scar behind. 

That scar will forever remain in my heart

You once were my friend, but now you're just a liar

I have stood in front of you for you to see

Nothing can scare me, not even my darkest dreams. 

S.K.

I'm Kinda Into Photography #4 - Group Sessions

So here are some pose ideas for groups. Over the couple of years I've been taking shoots for different groups, couples and individual people.

To see more click here: click me!

The Best Friend Argument

What is a best friend? What's its role? Is a best friend suppose to be talking, or texting with you 24/7 or is it someone that casually texts you but you know is always there for you when you need him/her.

How do you know he or she is your best friend? Is it reciprocal? Can I be your best friend while you have another one who's not me?

I have three best friends, one is my boyfriend so he doesn't count, so the point is: one is always texting with me and we spend hours and hours talking non sense (I like that), and the other one is the total opposite, the other one just talks to me when she/he needs something. 
How do I know if it's reciprocal? With girls it's pretty easy, they just tell you "you are my best friend and you'll always be", the tricky thing is that how am I sure? I don't know why but with boys you just know you are close, but how close?

What's my role? With either one, is to be there for them. There to just listen and not judge. But sometimes it's hard for me... Because how can you be so good if in your mind you think the friendship it's not reciprocal. 

Something that bothers me a lot, that shouldn't bother me, is that just because you are the "best friend", they can treat you as they wish because they know you'll never leave. And they treat a less close friend better than they treat you. I did that once and I'm terribly ashamed. I'm not judging because I have done it too, but if they already know how I feel: why keep doing it? I'm kind of jealous, you know? I just want to be heard and to be trusted.

A best friend for me is something very VERY delicate. Trust is something very valuable as well as honesty. Without those two factors there's no friendship. 

With the reciprocal issue, I just risk myself, because I've lost too many friends, and even if it's not reciprocal I want to give all I've got, to never feel regret. I know it is not fair to me, but I just want to sent outward what I feel inside. Pure love.