Being a Good Person is Directly Proportional to Having a Strong Conscience

Today I realized that good people have a very strong conscience. I have noticed throughout my whole high school that irresponsible people don't give a damn about the outcomes in whatever situation you are stressed about. A difference of them and me is that I agonize with my conscience for weeks, even months, and I can surely say years; when I do something wrong. 
Irresponsible people, and bad people seem to hide their guilt very well, if they have a conscience at all; but good people struggle with it every day until they do something good about it. And that's me. 
The thing about me is that I can't get myself together to do the right thing, or what socially and ethically seems to be the right thing, and if I do it always comes in a very awkwardly way. 
I despise my strong conscience, but at the same time I'm grateful for it because it let's me be humble and keep both of my feet on earth. 
To all those bad people out there, there's no shame in hiding your guilt, once you uncover it you'll change for the better. 

Week #28: Thor: The Dark World (11/04/13-11/11/13)

On Monday I woke up at 7:45 am to register for classes for Spring 2014! It's weird that I can register from November 4th when I'm not in the Honors College because the only ones that can register this early for classes are the ones in athletics and Honors College. I think I'm able to register this early because of the number of credits I enrolled with and my current GPA. Chemistry was really a drag, every class makes me realize even more how little I'll use chemistry when I grow up. I had an American Studies test today and I think I did pretty well. I met up with Courtney before calculus to finish our calculus homework and we finished! Well, I finished. Well, actually I did a little bit over 90% but I'm really ok with that. At 7:30 I went to the Engineers Without Borders meeting to talk about the color run and met someone from Honduras, and we bonded a bit, her name's Rina. She noticed I was latino when I rolled my tongue for the R in her name.


On Tuesday we had to hand in our midterm report for project #2 for Foundations of Engineering lab and we didn't know, lucky us our professor is awesome any gave us until this Friday to hand it in. I went to the library to do my chemistry homework and did a great amount without getting distracted or buying Starbucks! Today I had my last class of foundations of engineering! I'll have more relaxing weeks now ahead, after foundations I met up with Ricardo and Victoria to discuss what we were going to do for the chemistry lab and we are totally lost. I began watching Grey's Anatomy in mid September and now am in the 9th season, this is the last season Netflix has and I'm kind of sad :( Grey's Anatomy has been so intense! I definitely love this series.

On Wednesday I had good ol' french toasts for breakfast :D chemistry was boring as usual as well as american studies. At noon I went to a leadership lunchtime, which should be my last if I did my math right and the spokesman told us something that really made me think hard, he told us to work or in this case learn for a challenge not for passion, he says that if you are good in something you should keep doing it because being good will make you wanna love it. He does makes sense and that makes me more secure with my major choice actually. After calculus I met up with Chad and Nick and we did a pretty good job, we decided to do my idea for project #2. For project #2 we have to design either a household tool or a children's toy and my idea was a slinky hanging from the ceiling with your phone stick to it, that way if you wanna text someone in the middle of the night you don't have to reach to your nightstand or find your phone through your sheets.

Thursday, this is the real day I look up to every Monday because these are my easy days. We successfully finished the lab knowing exactly what to do, I feel bad though because I feel Victoria is the one doing all the smart stuff (calculations and graphs), Ricardo is the good one with the Spectrometer's software, and I'm just writing the data down. I feel so useless, then again, I'm bad a chemistry so I've always been useless. After lab Victoria and I stop by the Samsung kiosk that's been on campus the whole week giving cellphones, tablets, gift cards and accessories. I feel like I went for nothing because all I got was a speaker, what I really wanted was the gift cards.

On Friday I had Jamba Juice for lunch, I like having smoothies for lunch but Jamba Juice is so freaking expensive! a $6.90 smoothie are you serious? Might as well buy 3 orders of chicken nuggets at Chick-Fil-A! One of the reasons I wanna got to Panama so bad is to finally try out my brand new bullet blender that's been waiting for me since August. At 2:30 I met up with Courtney and went to the movies at AMC! We saw Thor and it was so fun! We didn't have one single awkward moment, I love her :) The movie was awesome too, it was so unexpected; omg I just love Loki. We got lost a couple of times haha but it was a fun evening :)

Courtney as a Mickey in her car! It's
so cute!

ENOUGH WITH THIS BIPOLAR WEATHER!

Florida has it pros of being a warm state, unlike New York or Washington. However, being here as really upset my feelings about being "lucky". 
The thing about the Florida weather is that is so bipolar! The sun has a lot to do with the weather actually, in fall the mornings are pretty chilly, and in five minutes it can raise literally 10 degrees! That's what I don't like about this weather. Also the rain, Florida gets affected by the hurricane season, but I get that; what I don't get is how can a pouring thunderstorm change to a sunny day in minutes?! 

Dear Florida, 

I really appreciate that it's not snowing, or as hot as Panama; but you gotta get some help, because these bipolar issue will never get better. 

Stacy Kam

P.S. This is the weather I like:

I MISS MOMO :(

I miss Rod :( that's all I wanted to say really. I miss him because he's the only other person who I can be myself with and not feel alone. Not feel alone more than ever since I'm here and I kind of know what alone truly means, it's not that I'm a loner but I just miss having that one person you can just trust and be yourself with. 

I miss you Momo :)

Week #27: Happy Halloween! (10/28/2013 - 11/03/2013)

On Monday I had my first job interview ever, in the Office of Housing of USF. I was interviewed at 2 while they were also looking at my portfolio and they asked me some common questions, how did I get into photography? Did I had any experience? Was I comfortable talking to other people? I think I did really well but I'm not that positive because I'm certain there are a lot of more talented people than I am on campus. I wore my new blue dress from Forever 21 and a long sleeve USF sweater along with beige flats. I hate flats! My feet are so weird, no shoe fits well. Well, they fit but I get blisters and stuff. After calculus I bought me some Pollo Tropical, I love their pork Tropichop and went back to my dorm and watched KUWTK. I seriously need to stop buying Whoppers, whenever I have them I can't stop eating them and whenever I don't have some I can't stop craving them!

While I was studying on Tuesday for calculus I had the
best frapuccino I've had from Starbucks:
Cinnamon Toast Crunch Frap :)

On Tuesday I kind of skyped with Alex, my connection was super low so we had to postponed our convo for another day, I missed foundation of engineering because I am allowed to miss one and this one was the last before Mechanical so this was my last chance and what a coincidence that it's the day before me calculus test. I've been in the library since 4 pm and it's now 9 pm, I'm having a light headache and I can't really keep going. I feel like I'm going to fail so bad :( I still don't understand some basic stuff which is really bad and I don't have the will power nor the energy to keep going. I want to make my mom proud and this isn't helping :(

On Wednesday I woke up stressed about the calculus test, and I still am. It's 12:30 and the test is at 4, so it's a long way to go. Also Alex texted me about something I wrote weeks ago about her relationship, her ex-other half wanted me to take out what I wrote, but this blog is my safe haven and I write what I feel like writing. I have learned throughout the years that you shouldn't be what others want you to or expect you to be, however I will stop writing about her life, one because it's not mine although she is part of mine, and two because well.. I don't want to upset her or anything. Before my calculus test I met up with Victoria and Ricardo to discuss what we were going to do for tomorrow's lab and we finished early so Victoria and I went to Mr. Fleeman's office hours to review before the test. At first the test felt kind of easy but has I turned the pages it turned harder and harder. I hope I didn't messed up but I have a very bad feeling about this test.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Although I didn't dress up, collected candy or go to any parties, I just don't believe in Halloween.
Thursday I had chemistry lab and we did fine once we figured out exactly what to do, apparently David hasn't dropped the class according to Justin, but he did tell us he had drop it, so what it's going on? Anyway, after lab I had some Panda Express for lunch and then went to Metropolitan Ministries to do some volunteering work. Sara gave me a ride along with a friend of hers and Sara and I worked at Outreach Outfitters and Outreach Market, I really prefer Outreach Market so next time I'm gonna try getting that place. So I have a hold for an advisor appointment that I did went to, and the hold states the contrary so I have emailed and called my advisor and NOTHING! I just emailed the Dean of Undergraduates because my registration date is this Monday and I need that hold taken! I'm stressing so much over that! The Croc's package also came in today, another package to store until mom comes, I also got the Disney tickets in the mail! I'm so excited! I haven't gone to Disney in ages.

On Friday I had a pretty normal day, I got two 3s on my past week's weekly assignment for AMS, a B on the draft and well... This day was simply plain. I feel fatter :( Maybe it was yesterday's Panda Express, I feel so bad I'll have a cleansing weekend :) Kaitlyn went back home for the weekend which is nice to have some days the room to yourself. I spent the rest of my day watching Grey's Anatomy and trying to do my math homework but it's simply very hard! I'm kind of waiting for that beast mode moment to hit me and sincerely I'm getting worried it's too late. Oh my mom also told me that there's going to be a Forever 21 in Panama and it's opening this November 9th! It's kind of exciting because I could have pretty clothes whenever I wanted but it takes the magic out of shopping in the US.