Tuesday, October 14, 2014

TO MY MOM

Hey Mom, I really hope you're reading this since our last words were a simple goodbye with a hug. You never saw me cross the finish line, but I bet you were proud as fuck that whole weekend. I can assure you all of our family and friend's hearts are broken, specially mine. I only had 19 and a half years with you, and five of those years I cannot recall or look back at when I'm lonely since I was a baby/toddler.

You were the most faithful mother, always following my dreams behind me in case I failed. I did fail in several of them but instead of comforting me you just pushed me in a different direction so I wouldn't hurt my self-esteem. You pampered me with no shame, you spoke highly of me -and quite a lot- to my aunts and uncles, you never punished me and took me everywhere I'd want to go.

I have so many good memories with you, I have so many good experiences along with the rest of the family. All our trips, and adventures; but even the ordinary day at home on a summer day while dad was at work and you would of course be sitting on the bed with your iPad and I'd run to your room yelling 'Maaaa' and bother you just because. I liked being annoying to you in a loving way and you'd just laugh and tease me back.

Although you were not the greatest cook (thank God for step by step instructions on Kraft mac and cheese), you were indeed the greatest wife, aunt, daughter, sister and most importantly mom. I will never doubt the strength of love and affection you had towards me since you fought so hard to get me, 10 years actually, but I can't stop wandering what I could have soaked in from you in those 10 years we lost. God has his reasons and I know they'll be for the better, but God dammit am I hurt.

You were so selfless and would just lighten the room with happiness and smiles. I still remember your body language and I hope never to forget it, when you would lift both your arms and say "oieee" to me when I teased you; when you hugged me after not seeing me in a long time and caress me, or when you just to say "todo lo que mi bebita quiera", express how much you cared about me; a true mother's love.

I love you Mom