What is a best friend? What's its role? Is a best friend suppose to be talking, or texting with you 24/7 or is it someone that casually texts you but you know is always there for you when you need him/her.
How do you know he or she is your best friend? Is it reciprocal? Can I be your best friend while you have another one who's not me?
I have three best friends, one is my boyfriend so he doesn't count, so the point is: one is always texting with me and we spend hours and hours talking non sense (I like that), and the other one is the total opposite, the other one just talks to me when she/he needs something.
How do I know if it's reciprocal? With girls it's pretty easy, they just tell you "you are my best friend and you'll always be", the tricky thing is that how am I sure? I don't know why but with boys you just know you are close, but how close?
What's my role? With either one, is to be there for them. There to just listen and not judge. But sometimes it's hard for me... Because how can you be so good if in your mind you think the friendship it's not reciprocal.
Something that bothers me a lot, that shouldn't bother me, is that just because you are the "best friend", they can treat you as they wish because they know you'll never leave. And they treat a less close friend better than they treat you. I did that once and I'm terribly ashamed. I'm not judging because I have done it too, but if they already know how I feel: why keep doing it? I'm kind of jealous, you know? I just want to be heard and to be trusted.
A best friend for me is something very VERY delicate. Trust is something very valuable as well as honesty. Without those two factors there's no friendship.
With the reciprocal issue, I just risk myself, because I've lost too many friends, and even if it's not reciprocal I want to give all I've got, to never feel regret. I know it is not fair to me, but I just want to sent outward what I feel inside. Pure love.